Need to know this week:: "I can have faith in God"
Today during KidSpring I asked my little kiddos what are some things we have faith in but we cannot see...the example we used was "air". So I said how do we know it is there all the time?? One special response was this::
"we know it is there because when people's lungs get hurt, doctors fill their lungs back up with air so that they can live again" Haha such an honest and true answer! In the same exact way God can breathe new life into us!
We talked about Noah and how he had to have faith in God that there truly was a huge flood coming. I've heard that story since I was a little girl and each time I learn something new. The wonderful children I have the pleasure of meeting and spending time with on Sundays have no clue how they are impacting my life. Their childlike faith is something we should work harder at as adults. For them, it is so simple. Just like breathing air. Their is no stipulations with them having faith in God. Children dont say "ok God if you are real then perform something magical or give me something in return". They just...have faith and believe.
I truly believe that the older we get we have times where we go through difficult periods in our life and question...is God really there? Where are You in all of this?
In the past couple of weeks I have been so down about my grandmother and not understanding why she has to be so sick. I looked at her and knew her time was near. But the hardest part is knowing that I am not losing a grandmother...im losing a mother too. My granny stepped in and gave of her love, assistance with school, her love for music, sharing her Godly heart, and showing me that it is better to give than receive. She wanted to see me marry a Godly husband and graduate from nursing school. That is what we always talked about and I am so grateful that she got to witness both.
The absence of my actual mother in my life has impacted me in so many ways. It is so unfortunate that she has missed out on some of the absolute best moments in my brother and I's lives. I feel so sorry for her every single day. But the blessing in it all is that Alex and I both have had the wonderful pleasure of not having just one mother...but several mother figures in our life that make up for not having our actual mother. We are also so grateful for a father who makes up for that loss every single day. We are grown ups now, and yet he still calls us and checks on us all the time to see how we are and how he can help us with anything we are dealt.
Through the pain, I am filled with so much joy that Daniel and I get to be parents to a beautiful baby this coming February. I know with my whole heart the mother I want to be and the one God is molding me to be. I don't have to let go of this baby. I can be present! I can't see the future, but I have faith in God and the future He has prepared for us. Through the hurdles...God is just asking us to hold on...just hold on...there is a blessing coming and I am going to use you in big ways! We just have to have faith!
So as we go through out this week...let's try having childlike faith in all that we face!
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Monday, June 4, 2012
Our Life Now.
Marriage:
Daniel and I got married September 3rd of last year. Best Day Ever. (so far:). Daniel and I dated for about 5 years prior to get married. We shared many ups and downs. With all the ups and downs...it gave us an enormous amount of strength. Strength I do not think either of us knew we had. I knew from the moment I met Daniel that he would be in my life forever. Don't get me wrong, with all the hard times...we certainly had moments where we doubted our future or where it was headed. Daniel accepted me for all my flaws, scars, ditsyness, and smart mouth. I accepted everything that came along with him as well. There is something to be said for being best friends in a relationship. I look at him and just know we are on the same team, fighting for our marriage, and growing in our relationship with Christ.
Once we got married...well you'd think it was all about "Let the Fun Begin!!"...and yes a lot of times it was. However, one statement Daniel and I kept hearing was so disheartening. People continued to tell us..."The first year is always the hardest". Why? How could that be? Isn't that supposed to be the best? The most fun? It honestly made no sense. It did not fully hit me until about a month ago that I realized that I let that statement ring true in my heart and create negativity. I know Daniel would agree with me when I say that we just started to accept that statement..."The first year is always the hardest".
Daniel was already in Conway, SC prior to me moving here. This move was not an easy move. Not knowing anyone or not knowing why God wanted us here. We knew with all our heart that God was telling us..."Trust me for once and let Me do My work!" That was tough to swallow because we both thought our life would be in Greenville, SC. We had already started to plant our feet in NewSpring Church there. But despite all of our plans, we let them go and moved to Conway, SC.
God had proven himself to me so many times over last year. Helping me pass what I thought was an impossible test that I had to pass for nursing school. You only got three chances to pass this test. I was an honorary student, excelled in my classes, and essentially a nursing school nerd. I failed this test the first two times. I cried and cried and cried...cursed the Lord...cried and cried and cried so more. I could not understand this at all. All I ever wanted was about to come to a halt. What I went through growing up came back to haunt me so many times screaming "ok God when is enough going to be enough...can't I get a break?!!". Though Daniel, my family, and friends were extremely supportive...there was one particular person who taught me something in this moment. She told me I was doubting God. Essentially saying that he isn't capable of helping me pass this test. When in reality He already knew how smart I was, that I was capable, and ready to be a nurse. She asked me if when I prayed that I declared God's victory over whatever I was going through...uhhh no. What does that even mean? Well, it means you say..."Lord, thank you for allowing me to pass this test, thank you for giving me the ability to retain all the material I've studied and worked so hard at learning, and thank you for blessing me beyond what I even realize im capable of doing". Wow! I never thought of praying like that. So that is what I did. The day of my test...all the way there...I prayed this prayer. I was more content during any test I have ever taken and passed with flying colors. I walked out of there and wept like a baby because I just felt this new connection with the Lord. He just wants us to trust HIm with everything we do. His plan is far greater than we can wrap our minds around.
So back to what I was saying...We're here in Conway...Trusting Him...and....we can't find a church. I'm shopping (what I do best) to fill my time, and in the back of our minds we are remembering that awful statement we kept hearing..."the first year is the hardest". I was leaning on Daniel for my happiness. I had no friends here. I was working nights and felt so depressed. This was not creating a good pot for a successful first year of marriage. Ok now I'm tracking...all of this adjusting can create a hard first year.
Then we heard that NewSpring would be coming to Myrtle Beach. Whoa. Never saw that coming! Totally an answered prayer! We jumped at the opportunity to somehow get involved when it got started. This is only the beginning and so many changes have taken place! We may be partial, but we sure as heck Love our Church! The people we have met have truly touched us and we have made wonderful friends. I truly love getting up on Sundays and serving in KidSpring for our church. Those children teach me something new every Sunday. I love that we have met people within our church that love Daniel and I for who we are, they challenge us, help us grow, and support us.
I no longer go shopping on my days off just to fill my time. I cherish my girltime. It means more to me than my friends know. I pour into my husband by striving to be a good wife and show him love every day. I spend time with the Lord more than I ever have in my life. I am more certain of the direction I am headed in. God has shown me that TRUE friends exist. Lifelong ones. The ones who will never betray you and be a friend through and through. As my Aunt Debra would say..."we don't have room for fair weather friends". I have experienced these too many times in my life. I am thankful for the ones who have hurt me and walked out in the most important times in my life so I know the real difference of a true friend and it has made me an even better friend. I have seen changes in my husband that I never thought possible. I adore the man I married and appreciate his drive to become better than what he once knew. He will make an amazing father one day.
Lastly, the first year of marriage does not need nor have to be the hardest. It is what you make it. If you doubt your God and his ability to work within your marriage then yes...bet your bottom dollar He will do what it takes to bring you both to your knees to realize the importance of Him at the center of your marriage. NO...not every day will be rainbows and butterflies. You can't appreciate the amazing days without the bad. But those bad days that you used to think were so awful now can be the groundwork for something wonderful. And be prepared for the more you draw closer to the Lord for the Devil to continuously attack! He is so good at that. But I believe the more you resist his temptations and proclaim the victory of the Lord...the Devil will just get bored and move on to another idiot;)
I'd say that is enough for a first blog post. More to come.
Invest your love. It is the most important thing you can do while on this earth.
Ash
Daniel and I got married September 3rd of last year. Best Day Ever. (so far:). Daniel and I dated for about 5 years prior to get married. We shared many ups and downs. With all the ups and downs...it gave us an enormous amount of strength. Strength I do not think either of us knew we had. I knew from the moment I met Daniel that he would be in my life forever. Don't get me wrong, with all the hard times...we certainly had moments where we doubted our future or where it was headed. Daniel accepted me for all my flaws, scars, ditsyness, and smart mouth. I accepted everything that came along with him as well. There is something to be said for being best friends in a relationship. I look at him and just know we are on the same team, fighting for our marriage, and growing in our relationship with Christ.
Once we got married...well you'd think it was all about "Let the Fun Begin!!"...and yes a lot of times it was. However, one statement Daniel and I kept hearing was so disheartening. People continued to tell us..."The first year is always the hardest". Why? How could that be? Isn't that supposed to be the best? The most fun? It honestly made no sense. It did not fully hit me until about a month ago that I realized that I let that statement ring true in my heart and create negativity. I know Daniel would agree with me when I say that we just started to accept that statement..."The first year is always the hardest".
Daniel was already in Conway, SC prior to me moving here. This move was not an easy move. Not knowing anyone or not knowing why God wanted us here. We knew with all our heart that God was telling us..."Trust me for once and let Me do My work!" That was tough to swallow because we both thought our life would be in Greenville, SC. We had already started to plant our feet in NewSpring Church there. But despite all of our plans, we let them go and moved to Conway, SC.
God had proven himself to me so many times over last year. Helping me pass what I thought was an impossible test that I had to pass for nursing school. You only got three chances to pass this test. I was an honorary student, excelled in my classes, and essentially a nursing school nerd. I failed this test the first two times. I cried and cried and cried...cursed the Lord...cried and cried and cried so more. I could not understand this at all. All I ever wanted was about to come to a halt. What I went through growing up came back to haunt me so many times screaming "ok God when is enough going to be enough...can't I get a break?!!". Though Daniel, my family, and friends were extremely supportive...there was one particular person who taught me something in this moment. She told me I was doubting God. Essentially saying that he isn't capable of helping me pass this test. When in reality He already knew how smart I was, that I was capable, and ready to be a nurse. She asked me if when I prayed that I declared God's victory over whatever I was going through...uhhh no. What does that even mean? Well, it means you say..."Lord, thank you for allowing me to pass this test, thank you for giving me the ability to retain all the material I've studied and worked so hard at learning, and thank you for blessing me beyond what I even realize im capable of doing". Wow! I never thought of praying like that. So that is what I did. The day of my test...all the way there...I prayed this prayer. I was more content during any test I have ever taken and passed with flying colors. I walked out of there and wept like a baby because I just felt this new connection with the Lord. He just wants us to trust HIm with everything we do. His plan is far greater than we can wrap our minds around.
So back to what I was saying...We're here in Conway...Trusting Him...and....we can't find a church. I'm shopping (what I do best) to fill my time, and in the back of our minds we are remembering that awful statement we kept hearing..."the first year is the hardest". I was leaning on Daniel for my happiness. I had no friends here. I was working nights and felt so depressed. This was not creating a good pot for a successful first year of marriage. Ok now I'm tracking...all of this adjusting can create a hard first year.
Then we heard that NewSpring would be coming to Myrtle Beach. Whoa. Never saw that coming! Totally an answered prayer! We jumped at the opportunity to somehow get involved when it got started. This is only the beginning and so many changes have taken place! We may be partial, but we sure as heck Love our Church! The people we have met have truly touched us and we have made wonderful friends. I truly love getting up on Sundays and serving in KidSpring for our church. Those children teach me something new every Sunday. I love that we have met people within our church that love Daniel and I for who we are, they challenge us, help us grow, and support us.
I no longer go shopping on my days off just to fill my time. I cherish my girltime. It means more to me than my friends know. I pour into my husband by striving to be a good wife and show him love every day. I spend time with the Lord more than I ever have in my life. I am more certain of the direction I am headed in. God has shown me that TRUE friends exist. Lifelong ones. The ones who will never betray you and be a friend through and through. As my Aunt Debra would say..."we don't have room for fair weather friends". I have experienced these too many times in my life. I am thankful for the ones who have hurt me and walked out in the most important times in my life so I know the real difference of a true friend and it has made me an even better friend. I have seen changes in my husband that I never thought possible. I adore the man I married and appreciate his drive to become better than what he once knew. He will make an amazing father one day.
Lastly, the first year of marriage does not need nor have to be the hardest. It is what you make it. If you doubt your God and his ability to work within your marriage then yes...bet your bottom dollar He will do what it takes to bring you both to your knees to realize the importance of Him at the center of your marriage. NO...not every day will be rainbows and butterflies. You can't appreciate the amazing days without the bad. But those bad days that you used to think were so awful now can be the groundwork for something wonderful. And be prepared for the more you draw closer to the Lord for the Devil to continuously attack! He is so good at that. But I believe the more you resist his temptations and proclaim the victory of the Lord...the Devil will just get bored and move on to another idiot;)
I'd say that is enough for a first blog post. More to come.
Invest your love. It is the most important thing you can do while on this earth.
Ash
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